| Writings |
Rae |
Past |
Visuals |
But if your heart's not in it, for real.
Please dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If love's already gone,
Its not fair to lead me on.
Cause, i would give the whole world, for you.
Anything you'd ask of me, i'll do.
But i wont ask you to say,
I'd rather walk away.
If your heart's not in it.
2 more days!
laopang flooded us wif hw over the weekend.
sighs.
i hate chinese.
chinese simply sucks.
its so hard!
every weekend we have to write either zuowen or yingyongwen.
grrrrr.
i love it when you talk cock mans.
you just sound so cute.
hehe.
that brightens up my day.
dont know why but i'm in the holiday mood already?
simply cant wait for tuesday and wednesday to come!
whee.
no studying.
just slack and play all day.
2 more days!
wow wow wow.
i love the world too much.
but i love you so much more.
moremoremore.
sorry ehs.
another note.
you is nobody.
:))) dont let yr imagination run wild please.
i feel so cold.
how.:(((
geqian fills sadness in my heart.
sighs.
he always sound so sad.
i feel sad too.
3 more days.
maybe that can make me smile abit?
i love holidays.
but i love you so much more.
haha.one note.
you is such an imaginary character.
:))) please dont anyhow think okay.
at first golf was so bad!
i hit my pro's head.
till he had a small cut on his head that bled.
felt so guilty.
but darryn rocks la.
only wif him i play well.
crosscty was so fun.
jenn fairuz and i were gossiping.
sighs.come to think of it.
heart breaks la.
but sweeping was so much fun!
the funniest part was when we saw tay behind.
and told the last pple.
who,of cos,were walking.
and they started running!
fast fast.
made us luff like crazy.
some news made me so freaked out.
phew.its settled.
arghh.i feel like crying now.
counts*
6 more days!
to teachers day.rocks la.
i love teachers!
woohs.:)
sorry.but i love you more.
most.:DDD
so in love wif geqian!
arghhh.my heart hearts upon his voice.
and the lyrics of the song.
finally.a rest.
no upcoming test.
tomorrow.and after tomorrow.
this week is free!
whee.
chicken brought her hamster to school and got caught?
thats funny.
school cross cty on friday.
sians.
i'm a sweeper!
sec2 sweeper.
aiyah.sec2s super slack one la.
hehe.
training was good!
could feel myself pushing.
thank you thank you.
shall stop here.
baby boy i miss you too!
and i know i.
never will be good enough for her.
life is so fuckingly unfair.
what can i say.
grrrr.
lijiawei lost.
but nevermind.
i still like her.
:)))
golf lesson was such a disgrace yesterday.
professional asked me out for a demo.
wif woods.
!@#$%^&*
first shot.
i hit the pro's leg.
and left the everyone luffing.
2nd shot was equally bad.
but the third shot saved my face!
nice high far.
hees.
9 more days to teachers day.
hmms.
mixed feelings.
i hope you'll be alright.
and i hope it'll be alright too.
angry.frustrated.depressed.fucked up.
woah.so many emotions i'm experiencing.
you mean???
that the whole world thinks me and qian are together?!?!
HAHAHA!
super ehs.
joke of the century.
headache is killing me today.
shrugs.
too weak to go for training.
fia.go away!
yes.you got a space here.
happy now.go away la.
come here to get what.
attention only right.
raerae is tired.
cross country next week!
sighs.
be yourself day today.
be myself.whatever la.
i'm just so super cute.
i just want to hug my sister tight and never let go.
raerae will cheer up.
i'll smile.
i feel so tired.
bleahs.
thank you thank you!
you you you.
i love you.
thank you for taking the trouble to walk me there.
when its like abit long.
and poor you.
have to walk back yrself.
yes.flag day.
now i know how it feels when pple dont donate.
you feel so rejected.
and i super cant stand those pple.
who just pretend they didnt hear you and walk away.
like.
fuck you.
and there was this fat woman!
like what the hell.
asked her to donate.
gave me that pissed look.
wanted to give her the sticker.
she sort of scolded me?!?!
did i offend her.
yes.
she just reminded me.
HAHA!
qian wore a pair of forever-dropping pants today.
:)))
i slacked for like 3 out of 4 hours of flag day!
shhh.
please dont tell anybody.
:X
baby boy.
i miss you again.
oh come on.
rae is racist.
indian boys are irritating.
yucks.
she got so pissed by some malay girls today!
like woah.
they out of get some smacking.
training starting next wednesday!
arghhh.
i dont want i dont want.
i really hope its not under tay.
17 more days!
whee.
its like 17 more days to go.
baby.pinch pinch you you.
friday the 13th.
who cares anyway?
18 more days!
:))) whee.
cant wait.
but i havent think yet!
arghh.
no inspiration.how how how.
where's my sister?
she's didnt come today.
sighs.
stupid bung.
whole day keep diaoing me.
you think i dont know right?!?!
@#%^&*!
qian like super pissed wif you already.
you better stop thinking you're so great.
first time i cut queue today pple super bu shuang.
fellow level mates.
wow.
she was like staring at them.
walked past them still purposely knock them.
hoho.:) rocks la.
flag day tomorrow!
come town support me.
wif all yr coins please.
heh.
i miss my baby boy.
baby baby.
pinch pinch*
baby has oral now.
i really hope she does well.
poor thing.red eyes.
hoho.but too bad for her la.
who call her to sleep in class?!?!
gabriel tan is just super cute!
he told us that he's the head of his house.
and he means it.
he doesnt pa laopo.
his voice is just so sexy la.
wow.a man of inner charms.
i've got nothing to do.
hmms.i shall be nice and go study history.
rae is happy.
:)))
seeing my baby makes me happy la.
superr cute.
poor baby.
i hope yr eyes are okay.
cuddles*
baby boy.
i miss you!
again again again.
fuck.
come one la.
fuck me.
everythings MINE fault.
again again again.
:)))
i thought today will be another grr day.
hmms.turned out the unexpected!
what can i say.
i've finally sort out my thinking.
rae aint gonna be affected.
raeraerae has grown up la.
today simply rocks!
baby boy was wif me for the afternoon.
we were studying la.
baby boy cant afford to waste time la.
da du nan.song simply rocks!
hoho.darling.
i promise i'll make a luanpigu song for you!
i hope everything will remain so great so great.
for the rest of the day.
and forever!
huggsss baby tight tight.
i'm so in love.so in love wif you.
[dian dou] i dont wanna know. // says:
why am i special.
>>yidiandiandoudou--doudian// says:
cause God make it that way
>>yidiandiandoudou--doudian// says:
you're destined ta be my special one
=) =) =)
>>yidiandiandoudou--doudian// says:
the ordinary you is the most special
thank you.
what can i say?
yesterday was such a great day.
until i spoilt everything.
ya la.
thanks ar rae.
fuck off rae.
what more can i deserve.
cold treatment and ignorance from her.
hell.
what the hell happened to you.
rachelchin.
wake up la.
i'm selfish.
i'm wrong.
fuck.i'm always wrong.
what matters more?
the past or the present.
why cant she get over the past.
its the past.
raeraerae.go away.
vindicated.
i am selfish.
i am wrong.
i am right.
i swear i'm right.
swear i knew it all along.
and i'm flawed.
but i'm cleaning up so well.
i am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yrself.
raeraerae.
please go get a life.
and spice it up alittle okay.
you cant go on living in such a depression state.
go away!i dont like you.
let me slip away
meeting baby boy later!
miss you miss you miss you.
baby boy.where are you?
somebody said they saw you.
the person you were kissing wasnt me.
rae is stinking deeper and deeper into her depression state.
the tears just kept flowing.just now.
i dont wanna face it.
i dont know how.
i feel so fucked up.
arghh.
why.why must things be this way.
am i destined to be second.
am i.
why is life so unfair.
everythings so unfair.
i dont like her.
i dont like her.
yucks.
i dont like her.
arghhhhhh.
go away.
go away.
shooo.
go away.
go away!
baby boy.
i miss you.
its sad.so sad.
its a sad sad situation.
and its getting more and more absurb.
its sad.so sad.
why cant we talk it over.
oh it seems to me.
sorry seems to be the hardest word.
baby baby.
please be alright.
stupid man.
i shall break off all contact wif you.
hell.i'm not yr wife.
i'm eating baked rice!
yum yum.
haha.yes.i'm eating again.
please dont say i'm fat.
especially berr.
i dont have double chin okay.
uploading pics of today's celebration.
school was a sea of red and white.
i even took a picture of my engkiat.
aiyah.heart melts.
i super cant stand her.
she's damn cute la.
come on.only like me and my sister.
super not enthu for todays celebration.
hana qian.i'm a boring person.:|
pple ard like jumping and singing.
we just stood there talking.
gossiping.
but we did jump!
woah.
sec4s last year le.
sobbs.first and last national celebration gonna have wif that qian pig.
town was flooded wif red and whites too.
for once we cant recognise cedarians.
is that supposed to be good news?
i got my facts wrong.
tomorrow.
its tomorrow la.the date.
when baby asked for my number.
heh.but it was a friday.
means today!
wow.muaks.
saw so many pple in town today.
flooded wif pple la.
the worst is her and him!
arghh.he was looking at me.
turned back and took a long second look.
but he's cute can.
oops.he.
is qian's boyfriend.
is it wrong to think my fren's bf is cute.
:X will qian kill me.
hmms.
audrey mah is sooo cute!
arghh.the way she waved at me today is so cute la.
pinch.
i dont know her well la.
chicken is weird today.
mingming rejected me when i put my arm in hers.
fine la.she wants joleen only.
she dont want me.hmpf.
HMPF!.
eeyer.i still dont like that woman.
jamie is still so pretty.
anna.whom i dont know personally.
is sec3 most pretty lady.
wow.
and -- where got pretty at all?!
this clearly shows qian has bad taste la.
wait.at times only.
winks*
i miss you baby.
i've missed you already.
bao bao~
loooonnnggg weekend ahead.
i dont like.
nothing to do!
should i study.
yucks.i dont touch my books.
unless before test or exams.
fine la.i shall sleep the days through.
will sleeping make me fat?
:))) yes.
i'm sorry for my terrible moodswings.
there were unintentional.
life's been good and bad?
that bitch.again.
she must be up to no good again.
wtf.fine.
and another matter.
arghh.
please.case closed.please.
i'm faithful.
and i love you only.
i love my sister.
yes.perhaps.
we're coming back together again.
damn that woman who broke us up.
erm.not really though.
but she's doing despicable things now.
for what?!
shrugs*
to gain undivided attention la.
and to flirt.
but you must have looks to flirt.
does she have looks?
dots.
erm.i didnt say i have looks too okay.
i dont flirt.
for hell's sake.
no i dont.
i'm just plain old playful.
that brings you sadness.and doubts.
time and again.
fine.
i shall stop muttering to myself.
hmms.
i want to do a days count!
countdown to the 1st of sep.
1sep is teacher's day!
cool~
i shall count down to that.
lets see.
26 more days.
yes it is.
:)))
and you rachel chin.
enough of yr fooling ard.
yes.i mean enough.
stop hurting yr baby.
tomorrow's national day!
woah~ rocks la.
then lets see.
half day tomorrow.
saturday and sunday are weekends.
monday and tuesday are public holidays!
wow.rocks la.
i shall bring my cam.
take loads of pictures.
us.in red and white.
:)))
not to mention!
tomorrow.
is one year.
after your first message you sent to me.
thank you baby.
at the instant moment.
you brought so much hope love and warmth.
into this dull life of mine.
christian wunderlich.
can really sing out my song.
i'm so in love.so in love wif you.
i'm so in love.if you only knew.
i'm so love.i'll never be the same.
cos i'm so in love.i'm so in love wif you.
mdm faridah is just so cute la.
so sarcastic.
but so cute.
super cant stand her!
i think she knows.
so what if she knows.
i like her anyway.
i just want to squeeze qian's arm and never let go.
blows air into yr ear*
jamie's going to canada soon.
i shall print the photo of us for her now.
hmms.
somewhere only we know-
heartfelt thanks to my beloved gauri!
she's like there for me when i needed her most!
hmms.stitch.upon my second round today.
hurts like mad.
it was she.
such a darling.
who motivated me.and cheered me on.
not ta give up.
and she insisted to wait for me.
so that we can run together.
i love gauri too much.:)))
yucks.
i didnt know you're such a fucking bitch.
to think of how many times i cried over you.
yucks!
pukes.
you dont deserve her at all okay.
i'm so happy.
i took her away.
from all yr fucking flirts.
grrrr.
you dont deserve her.
nor whatever she done for you.
go away!
yucks.
bitch.
i thought you were one angel.
yucks.
go away.
pui!
at the breakwaters.
its so cold.
the evening breeze was just so chilling.
i swore i saw a rainbow.
i saw every colour of it.
although she claimed it wasnt one.
fine.
i was back at the beach again.
once again.
wif such a special person of my life.
such nice stories told.
the nicest parts were those which included me.
racial harmony campfire.
?!?!?!
dont need to mark attendence.
grrrr..
things are alright again.
hmms.
whats wif everyone.
theyre making me more confused day by day.
hey!
its the first day of each month.
come on.look on the bright side.
its a brand new start!
11 is such a sweet number baby.
but wont 12 be sweeter?
huggss tight.
woohs.
the same old line to describe how i'm feeling now.
seasons may change.winter to spring.
but i love you.until the end of time.
i wanna go all night
aint no stoppin till the breaking of the dawn
i wanna go inside every corner
girl you really turn me on
i wanna go
knock knock
our bodies to the beat
and when the morning comes
were lettin the sun shine and stay in bed
you can't separate us
we fit together
muaks muaks.
hush baby hush.
thank you for everything.
:)))
special note to my jenn jenn!:
woohs.thank you once again.
you remember!
Rachel / Rae
24th nov 1989
raeraerae_@hotmail.com
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